Genre: Narrative Nonfiction
Sub-genres: Parenting, personal essay, memoir, humor
Audience: General / mass market
Word Count: ~ 90,000
Status: Ready for Submission

These are the stories of my journey into fatherhood, told for everyone who is already a parent, or will become one soon…and for anyone who has ever wondered “Dad, c'mon, what the hell?” I’m making it up as I go, kid, and trying not to screw up too badly. Here’s what I’ve learned, and the peculiar, terrifying, ironically profound ways I’ve learned it.

A good friend once introduced me to her mother, aunt, and grandmother, by way of a shower of compliments for my writing and parenting. She then patted her baby bump and asked me, before this tribunal of wise matrons, "So, what advice do you have for a new parent?" Every nice thing she'd just said about me, every ounce of pride I had painstakingly won as a dad, was suddenly on the line.

Whatever I said then is lost to time, but the question stuck with me. I Wanted a Cactus is something of an answer, at last, told in stories suffused with humor, wisdom, and lessons learned.

I became a father when my first son was born, and a dad when I charged through an angry swarm of wasps to rescue him.

I didn't expect that potty training would include a freshwater spring, rampant nudity, and a stern park ranger.

My son faced each of my greatest fears and most unsettling shortcomings, without knowing it, before his fifth birthday...leaving me scrambling to be the brave, confident man I like thinking I am, despite evidence to the contrary.

Becoming a parent has taught me a lot about courage, about leadership, and about honesty--especially about being honest with myself. Those lessons, with plenty of humor, suffuse I Wanted a Cactus.

My journey from yuppie to dad is by no means unique; what is unique, and makes these stories interesting to a wide audience, is their insights into common moments, concerns, and challenges that many parents face, and in the voice that tells the stories.

Chapters include: "A Good Idea at the Time," "The Wrath of Good Intentions--A Birth Story," "Baby Dartmouth," "Dances with Toddler," and many more. Many chapters may be easily excerpted for marketing-related publication in magazines, online, and elsewhere.

Word count: ~ 100,000 in 21 chapters